for a while, i just wanted to scream until my lungs can no longer bear it... but i guess i was afraid to let it happen... so i decided to open my dev account again and started typing on this journal about certain things that can never be understood by all of them who will read this crap...
i asked myself a few days ago about a certain question i guess nobody could answer... it's just that i was just so confused about everything that i tried to let it out of my mind by asking myself silently so that i would understand the problem slowly... but i was wrong... the hours of thinking didn't help at all in answering the fuckin' question... sorry for the bad words...
^ ^... anyway...
i don't even know why i have decided to type this insensible journal entry... i guess i was just too tired from the hours of seemingly endless thinking about that unanswered question... i hope everything would be fine by the time i have ended this journal entry... a few words to go and i hope everything would be back to normal...
... as i type these last few words, i have come to the conclusion that... it could never be and would never be... the same again...